|Perfect Couples: Not perfect soon enough (NBC)|
Friends, we gather today to mourn the loss of Perfect Couples. While it wasn't granted much time on this earth, it's hard to say that anyone was surprised at its length of life. If we learn anything from Perfect Couples, let it be this: when you're a network looking for an immediate hit, you might not want to go with a show that takes half a season to pull its head out of its ass. You can't promote a show with a terrible pilot, and no matter how good it gets half a dozen episodes down the road, you won't win viewers unless you can afford stick it out. This might seem harsh, but those of you who truly knew Perfect Couples from a simpler time know that it's true: the pilot was awful... and I'm going to show you why a potentially good show was destined to be cancelled. *cue "he just said the name of the blog" music*
In the pilot, we're introduced to three couples: the crazy couple, the "overly perfect" couple, and the average couple. We know this from the first scene thanks to a writer who clearly needs to look up the word subtle in a dictionary.
The three couples all find themselves dealing with the same issue: the chick is hogging the bed. What does the crazy couple (Vance and Amy) do? They start screaming at each other, the situation explodes into a huge fight, which ends with them making out lustily. Where have we seen the "argument turns to passion" scene before? How about everywhere.
The overly perfect couple (Rex and Leigh) deal with the problem in an obvious and overly perfect way: Rex literally looks over at a "how to be a perfect couple" book before quoting some tripe about how his girlfriend hogging the bed upsets him and makes him feel like she doesn't respect him. She replies back in kind, extolling her new found understanding and undying love for her communicative partner.
The average couple (Dave and Julia) do what average people do: be boring and unfunny.
|Another cameo opportunity missed!|
The list of bad within the pilot is a long one: Olivia Munn's casting is awkward (she'd make a better crazy girlfriend than a devoted one), which is highlighted by the writing. Vance and Amy break up, but since this is the pilot and Amy is a wretched harpy, not only do you not care about it but it makes you start to dislike Vance... a character that only works if the audience likes him (think Home Improvement's Tim Taylor with all of the obnoxiousness and none of the likability, charm, or humor). Dave has to make an obvious choice that any other person on Earth would make, but since the correct choice would make him relateable to the audience, he does the opposite.
Thus we commit to the Earth Perfect Couples. While the series isn't officially cancelled, it will be soon... a needless death thanks entirely to NBC, and not without one final insult. The show is being replaced by... The Paul Reiser Show. Ouch.